It's been a while since I last posted to my blog. I guess with endeavor there is a cycle to commitment and follow through. In the beginning I find myself excited and enthusiastic about doing it and that inertia keeps up until the rest of my life, screaming for more attention slowly withers away. The nice thing about the cycle is that, if it is something I really want to do, I then recommit to the project and slowly make headway.
I guess I could extend that analogy to relationships, now being in one. The 'honeymoon' phase, where the low-hanging fruit of intimacy are bitten into deeply and is completely juicy, is like the beginning of any new endeavor.
Heather C. gave me access to the distinction of 'relating-ship' and probably was a huge catalyst for me heaving my emotional baggage over the hump and start to open up to a receptive, open human being - as opposed to the safe, phantasmagorigcal openness from when experience with someone who is not open and receptive on the other end. Relating sounds safer, and thus I can dip my toe in and before I know it I am in over my head.
I find that I have embarked on two basic types of 'Odysseys in Relating' (OiR) and I can distill them down to this:
- One is where I am totally engrossed in,and only in, the relationship.
- The other form of relating is where the relationship enhances my relationships to others, to my purpose, to the universe, and to god.
How I feel in each of these OiR seem to mutually exclusive, and I have been on a never ending quest to see if I can achieve the holy grail of convergence. In the meantime I believe that it may be like amorous Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle - you can either know where a particle is or you can know its vector, but you can't know both. In statistical modeling, the same notion comes up with the idea that one can either create a model that accurately explains the observed data -at the expense of predictive reliability, or have a better prediction, with less ability to explain the observed data.
Does this mean I am a geek?
The nice thing about my new relating-ship is that I am inspired to bike to work, fly a plane, eat healthier, and recommit to my writing. Thanks dear!
