I have been working on a cohesive, yet concise, philosophical theory lately that roughly combines several ideas that I have picked up over the years. In repeating them to other people I have been slowly polishing them down and I think I am ready to put it into writing.
The basis of this philosophy centers around the following idea:
"If you are suffering, you cause suffering in others. The only way to alleviate your own suffering is through the giving of your gifts."
Sometime after I was given the that idea, I was given the distinction between a 'gift' and a 'present' by Heather C. and it has resonated with me ever since. The distinction goes something like this:
- A 'present' is something you give to someone.
- A 'gift' is something that you give to someone, who is ready and willing to receive it.
A dull, uninspiring rock to one person, is a fine polished sapphire to another. The first person would take the rock and throw it into the yard with all the others. The second person would happily part with money and take the rock and polish it into a piece of art fit for a crown.
I had a friend who spent a lot of time becoming a dentist. He eventually gave up his practice and one of the reasons he gave was that he was frustrated at how much time and attention he would spend on someone's mouth, only to have the patient neglect their dental hygiene, until they would have to come and see him when everything was out of whack again. He would be giving his gift to someone who did not appreciate it.
One of my mentors in business, Ken, once told me a story about how people would approach him asking for free T-Shirts with the company logo on it. The would justify the request by saying they would wear the shirt and would benefit Ken because it would be free advertising. Ken's response was "I bet if you buy the shirt, you probably would wear it more." This story gave me another facet to my distinction of what a gift is. One of the best ways to know if someone if ready and willing to receive your gift, is if that person is willing to pay for it.
In the process of my sharing this distinction with others, some are quick to point out that someone may be able and willing to pay for your gift but they may not have money, or you may not want money for your gift. A good point, but I am an economist and I don't look at payment only in pecuniary terms.
Perhaps you are willing and able to receive that other person's gift. Perhaps that reciprocal gift is a skill set, or simply admiration and appreciation. Then a classic barter of gift for gift occurs.
In his interviews with very successful business people, Jim Collins, author of 'Good To Great' and 'Built To Last', would ask why someone would still go to work, even after they have made tremendous amounts of money. Many of those successful entrepreneurs said they do the work they do because they love it, that they would be doing it even if they did not get paid.
In 'Outliers', Malcolm Gladwell, points out that success is more often than not, a factor of being able to do something long enough for mastery - about 10,000 hours.
As I thought about this, I came to understand that:
- if you do something long enough, you are more than likely going to get good at it.
- Be good at something long enough, you are more than likely to get paid well for it.
- The only possible way that you are going to do something long enough to get good at it and then paid well for it, is if you love it.
When I put the idea of mastering something with my distinction of gift, I come to understand that in order to alleviate my suffering, I need give my gifts. Not presents - GIFTS.
The only way that I will be able to give my gifts in the long run, is if I give them to people who are ready and willing to receive them - the sure-fire litmus for whether the recipient is willing and able to receive my gift is if they are willing to pay for it, not unlike my willingness to receive a gift is my willingness to pay for it.
Ultimately my gifts boil down to my time and attention. Mozart put his time and attention on music and the gift he gave to the world was his time and attention focused through the prism of music. On the path to mastery and the honing of the prism, time and attention become more valuable.
So here I am, in the blogosphere giving my gifts to anyone that will listen. Enjoy it now, as I value your gift of attention as much as I value my own gifts in writing this. Someday soon my path to mastery means I may need more convincing of your willingness and ability to receive my gifts as you may have more competition.
